I and ASIF

Search

2010-12-01T07:08:00.000-08:00

You search. Few you like, few you don't. Certain quality of few you love and few you hate. Your opinion on what you want gets stronger and your goal becomes more definite. On the way you get clarity on what you really want, but getting it becomes tougher. Sometime you even wonder will your search, result in what you expect. You get tired, bored, disappointed since there are always some or other obstacles in getting what you want. You compromise on few, struggle a lot just to reach there.

But remember you are out there for the best. And if it’s meant to be, its meant to be.

The Axe Effect

2009-08-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

DAY 1:

Unaware of Dijkstra's shortest path algorithm the perpetual troop of “ANTi Snacks Force” is on parade over Asif’s wall starting from switch board to the hanger aperture. Not having any weapons to massacre this troop Asif gets exasperated.

I, known for my out of box thinking (By the way have you ever wondered what is inside the box?), gave him a terrific idea of using AXE body spray as mass destruction weapon to carnage this troop.

It just worked.

All Ants looked as if they are boozed up. Their disciplined path is scattered. They don’t know where they are going neither do they have energy to move. Some more minutes they experience vertical fall from the wall to the floor of about 5ft’s, exactly like the hot babes in AXE advertisement falling for some cholle guys.

It just worked.

DAY 2:

There is a more closely packed bigger troop of “ANTi Snacks Force” marching over the wall singing a song from movie Gulaal.

I Guess AXE is reason for the considerable growth in the population of ANTS over Asif’s Wall. AXE just worked. (Atleast for Ants, though that wasn’t the work I intended to achieve)

I remain,

the J.

Overheard in BMTC

2009-04-09T06:24:00.000-07:00

Asif Soullessly sitting in the window seat of BMTC bus gazing to infinity, silently listening to conversations within.

Its then this couple in their twenties entered the bus sat behind Asif, and made him listen to their 80 decibel conversation.

"Look I really didn’t mean to hurt you or anything. I was not making fun of you. I was pretty serious. That watch costs 300 rupees, and even if you say, you share the 1500 rupees; I will have to pay the rest 1500 Rupees. Please understand my condition. I won’t be having enough money to spend for my next 25 days if I spend 1500 rupees on that watch. I’m not sorry for this"

"Why do you have to be sorry? You haven’t insulted me in that showroom na."

"I haven’t insulted you. In fact I was joking. I thought you will understand. But you didn’t. That just pissed me off. Baby, you must understand whenever I’m angry. Though I was angry there, I kept quiet. Didn’t I? It’s not only about I understanding you, I expect the same from you.

If I didn’t get up early, I’m wrong.

If I doing call you, I’m wrong.

If I am busy on weekend, I’m wrong.

But it’s not the case for you. You do a mistake and say "Oh I forgot" and that has to be fine with me. But I’m forgetting something is totally wrong."

"I FORGET THINGS BECAUSE I KEEP THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME."

Jerk is rolling in the aisles.

I remain

the J.

Drowning Story

2009-03-05T04:53:00.000-08:00

Since I have got a new friend in the form of AXXIS, I ask Asif to accomplish a task which he was planning to do from a long time.

Yes, Swimming. He already found K.C. Reddy Swimming pool, Sadashivanagar which is around 3 km from his stay.

He reaches the pool in the early morning, and heads towards ticket counter after saying good bye to my AXXIS. There is a huge crowd of about 50 people at the counter as it is summer, and most people want to cool themselves in the pool.

Asif notices for adults the daily charge is 16 rupees and for kids its 8 rupees. He buys monthly pass which costs 380 rupees. After changing his costumes he jumps into the pool. Now he is the oarsman and I am the captain of his boat.

The pool has dimensions, 50m*25m having 8 lanes with depth varying from 3ft to 15ft.

The lanes numbered 1 to 4 have floating lane divider, where trainee swimmers practice and rest of the lanes doesn’t have lane divider and is where majority of the public swim. Asif chooses Lane 5 to start his swim journey.

I am being the captain of the boat order “Ahoy! Let’s see some water-quakes and reach other continent”.

Asif only had popcorn the night before for dinner and not any warm up before getting down into the pool but still he rows the boat.

We reach the other end of the pool which is 15 ft deep zone. We stop there, and Asif breathes as much oxygen as possible. There isn’t much support on the edge to hang on. His arms feel tired. It was tiring journey done in one shot with stomach asking for food, and hands and legs asking for rest.

After two minutes of burning the oxygen I give order to Asif, “Ahoy! Let’s get back home”. Asif being the slave follow the captain.

We reached 12ft zone and there Asif crashes. His oars broke down. His hands are too tired. He can’t move more. His hands asking for rest, body feels the heavy presence of gravitation under water.

“Manzile apni jaga hai, raasthe apni jagah. Jab kadam hi saath na de tho musafir kya kare?”

Asif try to get some more energy after drowning two times in the midway, and then swims towards the lane divider at Lane 4, which seems like a mile far for his tired arms. He catches the divider, but it’s unable to keep its equilibrium because of Asif’s body weight.

I remember a cat falling into our well in Palimar. The cat was unable to climb the wall of well. It is climbing two feet’s; again falling into water, till someone dropped a bucket and the cat would get into it. Its hairs are totally stuck to its body, with near to death expression in its face; Asif didn’t look much different from that cat.

Suddenly whistle starts blowing. Two pool keepers starts shouting at him, they tell him to leave the divider and swim, don’t now why? But Asif can’t do that since it’s the only thing he trust on which can prevent him from more drowning.

One of the pool keepers shouts seeing at Asif’s situation “16 rupai kottu yak illge saayakke bartheera?”- translating to “By paying 16 rupees you come here to die is it?”

Asif is unaffected by his comments, he just concentrates on floating till he gets some rest. He waits there for some minutes, and then slowly walks in the water towards 5ft deep zone. Holding the divider he finally manages to reach.

The pool keeper continues his barking at Asif. “If you don’t know how to swim why do you went to deep place?” Asif says “This is my first day here. I am a swimmer, but I over estimated my ability to swim and underestimated the depth”. Keeper warns him of not do such things again.

Asif for the next two days swims in the 5 ft deep zone to regain his swimming confidence back. On the third day collides with the swimmer to get a wound near to eyes. Things looked like going bad day by day.

But it was the fourth day when he decides and again goes to other end, and he succeeds this time without any problem.Bravo.

I Remain,

the J

My New Friend – AXXIS

2009-03-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

I was looking for a friend since long time. A friend, who is so loyal, just follows your say; never ask anything back, one with good looks, totally simple and noiseless.

Asif knew such are available in market.

Asif goes to market areas find them over the weekend. Nothing catches my eyes as the type of friends he finds there is either not having a good look or they are really costly.

So I chuck all of them in the market. Hence my search continues.

Asif goes to one store called Orion motors near to forum mall, on a fine Saturday evening, (Isn’t all Saturdays are fine?).

And Finally I find the type of friend I was looking for.

Firefox AXXIS - A super bike.

This bicycle got my attention mainly for its design. It is black and silver in color with firefox tattoo in its body. It is lightweight, got detachable wheels, has straight handle with comfortable grip. It has also got very strong steel body, alloy rim, front suspension (which my friend Faiq suggested for Bangalore road condition), no rear suspension (as it ruins cyclist’s energy). It is gearless (I wanted it because I hate the complex mechanics involved in gear), no mudguards (and looks best without it), no horn, or bell (basically teaches you to have patience), no mirror (as it spoil the front looks of the bicycle.)

The next early morning onwards my journey on AXXIS starts.

Passing through the tar road; catching the glimpse of huge trees in the road side; watching the peace of water in the lake; listening to the birds chirping; smelling the morning fresh air; all at the cost of simple touch of pedal and handle of my AXXIS.

The best thing about the bicycle is that it just moves when I pedal!

Big Brother is coming

2009-02-18T00:50:00.000-08:00

Big Brother is coming...

Big brother is the bread winner of the family. He stays in Pardes. He decided to visit his family back home. His folks are all prepared for his visit. They want to make his trip home very special.

The sun has been given a deal to make the day sunny on the eve of big brothers visit.

The hump on the way to home, which normally breaks the back bone of the folks travelling in that way, has given clear order to reduce its elevation by itself. Folks, don’t want the hump to break the backbone of the backbone of the family.

The naked thinking man (to be exact the statue of thinking man), who is sitting in the veranda in thinking pose staring at his Laptop, Who depicts more of life of a software professional hit by recession (Glued to Laptop even if nothing to wear), has been given bath along with his laptop. He complains that it’s only the rainy season where he used to take bath. And he feels terribly bad since being a guy; it’s not nice to take bath at unnecessary intervals.

He is given order that when the big brother comes, he must not move. He must stay in the thinking pose no matter how much he is bored of his job.

There are flower dancers hired for the day. They are given orders to remain always in the bloomed position and not to bend under the luminous day.

The fountain which looks more like a fire extinguisher which runs whenever there is water, placed near to the naked man, has been instructed that it should keep its energy at high level. Also the lights surrounding the fountain which illuminate the fountain in different color at night are given order to illuminate the water in different color under the sunlight. It’s a very big challenge.

The aquarium in the home is neatly cleaned. They polished all the stones in the aquarium, and hence now the black stones look white.

The fishes in the aquarium have been given oil bath.

An orange colored, color aware fish complains, “Hum logonko pakad pakad ke dhoya hai saab. Humari itni buri haalath ki hai ki, mein red color kit hi, ab orange dikh rahi hoon.”

Whenever anyone goes near to the aquarium, normally fishes will come together drooling, expecting they will be fed food. Hence a big sign is put, not to feed the fish. Also the fishes were given order not to drool, and come together whenever someone comes near to the aquarium.

They were also warned not to pishaab in the aquarium till the big brother leaves, so as to keep the aquarium clean of shit and urination of fishes.

Since the big brother lives in pardes, the family is decided to read the newspaper of pardes till big brother is in home.

So there is huge wave of big brother’s visit in the family.

I remain,

The J.

Luck By ______?

2009-02-17T05:24:00.000-08:00

Someone said “Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on It.!”

I normally don’t believe in luck, I guess hence sometimes I am luckier.

It was a holiday and we four friend’s (nope. 5 actually including Jerk) plan for a trip to kaup beach in two wheeler. This is around 15 km from my home.

Since the highway has traffic patrolling, and we junkies don’t have enough driving documents we decided to take the alternate root which pass through jungle and seashore for its whole journey.

We reached beach when it was around two more hour to sunset. We went directly to Lighthouse, which was built around 1901. The Lighthouse is around 30 meters high from its base, and has the capability of throwing light upto 29 nautical miles into the sea.

We entered lighthouse buying entrance ticket of 10 rupees, and started climbing the spiral staircase which is built into the wall of the lighthouse.

In the top what I is an amazing view. There is scene of Green trees everywhere, light colored buildings, huge chimneys, Blue River flowing nearby. The scene from this angle is having ups and down everywhere. As the gaze moves 90 degrees, there is another scene - white carpet of sand running for miles, Coconut trees on the shores, waves hitting the shore of the sea and people enjoying their self being hit by waves, boats resting on the sea shores as if they lost job in recent recession. Giving another right angle rotation to the gaze brings nothing but blue water spread for total of 180 degree angle. No Ups and downs. Everything is equal. Above the sea, there is Sun who is finishing his task for the day, and coming down to kiss his darling - the Sea.

There is circular guard made of metal for the protection of the viewer at the top of the lighthouse. I rest on the same by transferring my body weight into it, and start looking at infinity towards the sea. It is so peaceful. Sun is reducing his intimacy gap with the sea.

I get lost in my thoughts, thoughts on how the scenery relates to human life cycle. In life we have all the ups and down in one side as long as there is life which is also colorful, and total peace on the other side which has only one color or colorless. Thought process continues with some more similar analogies.

Suddenly I realize the guard I was resting on is broken, and it’s unable to withstand the weight of my body. I’m on the edge of the 30 meter height lighthouse on the verge of falling, and people walking below the lighthouse are unaware. I can’t find anything for support. I wished, I fall on the sand not on the rocks in which the light house erected, a final wish so that at least my bones won’t be crushed to powder when I fall. But nothing is accepted.

I fall down!

The next moment I stopped that nasty thought process from continuing.

My friends want to get down and go into sea water, as they are bored. We really had no plans of getting into water, neither are we prepared for it. But my nincompoop friends made me one.

We remove our outer wears and keep all our belongings in one place. I double check if my belongings are safe. I check my purse to see my credit card, debit card, and some cash in it.

Like the hungry tiger we get into sea in no time. We enjoy ourselves, in the waves. At the same we kept an eye on our belongings. We swim, float, throw sand- water to each other, drink water by force of sea at unplanned intervals, dip down under the sea to test who holds breath till last, ogle at babes in the shore and water. We just freak out there. I watch the Sun finally kissing his Love – The Sea.

My friends observe that the waves in that place are not great. So we plan to move to other side where there is good height of waves. Two of my friends take the responsibility of shifting our belongings so as to have close watch.

We shift and continue our freaking evening in the touch of sea water. Finally when all are in low voltage, we decide to end the beach episode.

I move out and stand in the shore so as to get dried from the air blowing. And when I feel comfortable, start wearing my outer wear. Once done I check my mobile, and it has got 13 missed calls. Ah!! People think it’s an unlucky number, but it was surely not in my case. At first I thought this could be some bank guy asking whether I need credit card or bank loan, but to be polite I call him back.

Call accepted.

“Who is this? I missed some calls from this number” I ask in Kannada.

“Who is this?” voice from other side.

“My name is Asif”

“Oh. We found a purse named Mohammed Asif lying in the shore. Is that yours?”

I suddenly get a high voltage shock! My hand moves over my back pocket where I had kept my purse before entering into the sea. It was not there!

I say “Yes its mine. Where are you? How did you find it?” and I wanted to ask many more questions.

He says his name is RAVI and he will meet me near light house base to handover my purse.

That’s the moment of happiness, feeling of loosing something and getting it back.

World is not yet gone bad, there are still people like RAVI who practice great quality of humanity in some small actions they do and that gained great respect from me for him.

He handover me the purse, and I notice not even a single item in my purse is touched. I try giving him some prize money for his action but he denies it and says “It’s my duty to do that, and I have done nothing more than that.”

I try convincing him that doing his duty added happiness in my life and hence he must accept my small gift. He denies to accept.

He is happy for me, but he is not ready for any recognition for his duty.

I remain,

the J.

An Encounter With Calvin

2008-12-15T01:07:00.001-08:00

Asif is on his last legs.

He is totally tired carrying around twelve books in his back and left hand. There are two more lanes to go to raise the final curtain for the costliest book purchase he has ever done in his life in one shot. The total bill amount stands cool at double two double zero.

Though he is hungry in the afternoon because of not having lunch, drained opposing gravitational pull of books, I tell him to go to the first booth in that lane which is full of my kind of books- Arts, photography, comics, travelogue.

After browsing through some of the books,

I - “Wow. Calvin and Hobbes full collection. Awesome! Ask them how much does it cost.”

I recently fell in love with the complex thoughts of Calvin and his exciting life with Hobbes, since my friend introduced me to the unseen world of Calvin. The collection of comics I was referring to here has all the comic strips of Calvin and Hobbes from 1985 till 1995 created by Bill Watterson.

Asif- “Hey it is too thick to carry now. I’m sure it’s much costly too. I don’t have enough budgets for that collection.”

He was trying to apprise that he is not going to buy it.

I-“When did I tell you to buy it. I told you to ask the price”.

I was building the foundation to let him do what his heart desires.

Asif asks the price of that collection.

(It feels good to be a tyrant of Asif’s life... Ha ha, Evil Laugh…)

When the volunteer tells him the price, the thankoholic Asif thanks him for his help in letting know the price.

Asif- ‘OK. It is forty five hundred bucks after discount. Happy now?”

We move on to next booth and again see the same collection there.

I-“Ask them how much does it cost here.”

Irritated Asif –“ Commmonnn…!!! I’m damn sure that the difference will be delta.

My very dear, forty five hundred bucks is totally out of my budget!”

Asif –“Excuse me what’s the cost of this collection?” asks volunteer and gets the answer.

Irritated Asif – “Outstanding deal. Here its two hundred rupees more. This makes it forty seven hundred bucks. Happy now?”

We slowly walk through the remaining lanes without giving much interest on other stalls.

Though the hall is crowded with myriads of people and their hubbub, I can clearly hear the silence between I and Asif.

We reach till the exit door.

Asif, who is now having emphatic look on his face, takes a reverse turn, walks back to the first booth, and buys Calvin and Hobbes collection using his card.

The silence still continues between us. But now I can see his face glittering with his heart’s desire. I know he is given the best gift to himself.

I remain,

the J

ಚುಟುಕಗಳು

2008-10-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

ದೇವರೇ ಕೊಡು ವರ,
ಈ ವರರ ಬರದ ನಡುವೆ.
ಎಂದು ಪ್ರಾರ್ಥಿಸಿದ್ಧ
ಆ ಅರವತ್ತರ ವಿಧವೆಗೆ
ಎಪ್ಪತ್ತರ ಮುದುಕ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ.
ಮರುದಿನವೇ ಆಕೆ ಎರಡನೇ ಬಾರಿ
ವಿಧವೆಯಾದಳು.
---------------------------------------
ಕಂಧಕಕ್ಕಿಳಿದಾಗ
ಧೈರ್ಯವಿತ್ತು,
ಆತ್ಮ ಬಲವಿತ್ತು.
ಕಂಧಕ ಜಾಲಾಡಿ ಮೇಲೇರುವಾಗ
ಧೈರ್ಯ
ಆತ್ಮದೊಟ್ಟಿಗೆ
ದೇಹ ತ್ಯಜಿಸಿತ್ತು.
---------------------------------------
ಕೆಳಗಿಳಿವ ಬಿಳಳುಗಳೆಲ್ಲ
ನೆಲದ ಆಸರೆಗೆ ಬಯಸುವುದು
ಗಾಡ ಪ್ರೇಮದ ತವಕ.
ನೆಲ ತಾಗಿದೊಡನೆ
ಅಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲಾ ತೂತು ಕೊರೆದು
ತನ್ನ ಅಧಿಪತ್ಯ ಸ್ಥಾಪಿಸುವುದು
ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ಕುಹುಕ.
--------------------------------------
ಮನೆಯ ಸುತ್ತೆಲ್ಲ
ಹರಡಿದೆ
ನಾಚಿಕೆಯ ಮುಳ್ಳು
ಅದರ ಮಧ್ಯದಿ ಇಣುಕುತ್ತಿದೆ
ಒಣಗಿದ ಹುಲ್ಲು.
-------------------------------------

One Interview Question

2008-08-27T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is a story about an interview question.

The technical guy asked this question.

“There are three colleagues who don’t want to reveal their salary to anyone, but they want to calculate the average of their salary. They have a calculator. How can u help them to find the average salary?”

Well this is good question. I thought for some time. Suddenly my mind remembered one of problem which I had solved earlier.

That puzzle goes like this.

“A car can travel at a speed of 63 miles/hour in straight road, 56 miles/ hour in uphill and 72 miles/hour in downhill. This car starts from A and reaches B after 4 hours. Then starts from B towards A and reaches A after 4 hours 40 minutes. What’s the distance between A and B?”

This problem I had solved like this…

Let X_u be the total uphill distance from A to B( which becomes downhill on the return trip) X_d be the total downhill distance from A to B( which becomes uphill on the return trip), and X_s be the total distance of straight road between A and B in miles.

Then problem reduces to form.

X_u / 56 + X_s / 63+ X_d / 72 = 4 hours

X_d / 56 + X_s / 63+ X_u / 72 = 4 hours 40 minutes.

Adding these two equations, will give

(X_u+X_d)(1/56+1/72) + 2X_s/63 = 8 hours and 40 minutes.

Now though finding the answer looks little tricky. And the trick is noticing 1/56,1/ 63, 1/72 are the terms of HP.

That is 1/63 – 1/56 = 1/72 – 1/63.

Hence (1/56+1/72) = 2/63

This will simplify the above equation as

2/63(X_u+X_d+ X_s) = 8 hours 40 minutes.

Which gives the (X_u+X_d+ X_s), that is distance between A and B. Pretty simple isn’t it?

Well I applied the same logic to solve the aptitude in the interview.

Lets say the salary of people be X₁, X₂, X₃

I will choose three different numbers in HP lets say a,b,c. I will tell 1^st and the 3^rd person a and c, for the 2^nd person b. The logic goes like this. 1^st person will divide his salary by ‘a’ in the calculator and give it to 2^nd person.

Sum in the calculator now = X₁/a

2^nd person (who is unaware of ‘a’ hence can’t decode what’s the salary of 1^st person) will add (2/b* X₂) to the number in calculator and pass it to the third person.

Sum in the calculator now = X₁/a + (2/b* X₂)

Third person will add(X₃*(1/a+1/c)) and pass it to the first person.

Sum in the calculator now = X₁/a + (2/b* X₂) + (X₃*(1/a+1/c))

Now first person will add X₁/c to it.

Sum in the calculator now = X₁/a + (2/b* X₂) + (X₃*(1/a+1/c))+ X₁/c

Using the HP property this simplifies to

(X₁₊ X₂₊X₃)*2/b

To calculate the averages multiply this by b/6. There you go.

Well this is how sharp minds works.!!!

You may guess i got that job. But your guess is wrong. J

I wasn’t selected in that interview. But im still proud of this answer as this answer came as out of box solution.

Recently I was thinking about this method. And I questioned myself why concept of HP came into my mind but not of AP or GP, though the same result can be achieved by any of the sequence. I realized it’s because my mind had already seen similar problem and it related the puzzle to it. That’s what pattern recognition power of mind.

Geniuses are not born. They observe things, record in their subconscious mind and use it whenever required.

Well enough of boosting myself. The simple answer to that question is

Let first person add some random number Y to his salary and pass it to the second

Sum in calculator = X₁₊ Y

Let other second and third person add their actual salary and pass it to the first.

Sum in calculator = X₁₊ Y+ X₂₊X₃

First person who is aware of Y will now remove Y from this sum and divide by three to get the average of their salary.

No wonder I wasn’t selected in that interview..!!

Always there are plenty of methods to solve anything in life. But finding the simple one really makes the difference to anyone.

I remain
The J.

A Mathematical Night with Jagjith Singh

2008-08-01T05:31:00.000-07:00

World of Titan presents Padmabhushan Jagjith Singh live in concert at palace grounds.
Date: 05th July 2008
Venue: Palace ground, Bangalore

The name “Jagjith Singh” caught my eye when I was reading Bangalore mirror that day. I decided to attend the same. I called up Itcha to check his availability, as we missed last concert of Jagjith in Bangalore. He said he won’t be available as he made plans to go home that weekend. He also warned me saying "Jagjith might bore you!!”

So my first option of going with someone to a concert was out. I messaged my other set of friends to check their availability for the same. Sadly some are going home, some are not interested in ghazals, some messaged me saying "call me if there is a rock show, but please, not ghazals.!!"

I tried booking tickets on bookmyshow, just to find out there is no 600 Rupees (normal class) worth tickets available. Only 1200 Rupees (Standard class) and 2400 Rupees (Royal class) worth tickets were available. Finally I decided not to attend the concert, as I don't have a company and don't have tickets on normal class.

But life had different plans for me.

On 3rd July when I was coming in bus, I saw Gayathri Vihar, shining with lots of Posters of Jagjith Singh’s live concert. My mind went unstable. I got down from the bus and walked all the way to Gayathri Vihar.

After reaching, I asked watchman “where is the tickets available for the concert”. He pointed to some hall about 400 meters, away from the entrance.

So I started walking towards the hall crossing 18 Amazon sized trees on my left, and 18 on right. There were totally 9 posters of concert, placed at a frequency of every two trees. Finally I reached ticket counter and asked if any normal class tickets are available, just to get an answer “it was finished a week earlier”. He said only Standard and Royal class tickets are available. He also explained me the intentions of the concert saying “it’s for helping the poor orphans Jagjith Singh is having this concert”.

Yeah. That cheap maska worked on me. I brought Standard class ticket worth 1200 Rupees.

I started analyzing the ticket.

It was in black color with Jagjiths photo in it. He had neutral expression on his face.

My ticket red, Row 34, seat 49,

Date : 05-07-2008 Saturday, show at 7:00pm gate opens at 6:00pm.

I realized ticket is dominated by number 7. 3+4 =7, 49 = 7*7, seventh month, at 7 pm, on the seventh day of the week. Also 5th July was in 27th week of 2008..!!!

I turned the ticket to see around 20 terms and condition. I got disappointed to see the term “You cannot carry the camera to the hall.” That’s bad.

I finally took an auto to reach my room by paying him 21 rupees. (Damn!!! 21= 7*3)

Anyway finally It is 5th july.

I was a fan of Jagjith singh since the day when I heard his ghazal, “Woh kaagaz ki kashti, woh baarish ka paani” He has got thick voice, which when blended with violin makes me feel I’m somewhere far from this universe. A universe which is so beautiful.

Recently I came to know that earlier his wife chitra singh used to sing with him, but she stopped singing after a heartbreaking loss of their son in an accident.

I got geared up for the concert. This is my first paid concert and I was happy that I was starting it with the Ghazal maestro Jagjith Singh.

I took my Black jacket thinking it would be cold in the night. Took a Rick and headed towards Gayathri Vihar. On the way got struck in traffic, and a beggar came to me begging for money. Since I had decided not to give any money for the road side beggars, I refuse to give anything.

Kuck andar se aawaaz aaya, “ You are spending 1200 bucks for the people whom you haven’t seen. But this poor beggar though in need, u r not giving a paisa...!” But the traffic signal turned green, so don't want to take some more thinking on it.

Gayathri Vihar is getting the Jagjith’s tune. People were flowing like big river to the venue. There were some really good looking girls, and some poli - Guys checking out each girl. The entrance is decorated nicely. I reached venue by 6:45. Saw people standing the queue to get the ticket.

I entered the hall.

It is a big hall, with chairs arranged in a nice manner. Top was covered by aluminium sheets and decorative clothes. I noticed normal class zone had plastic chairs, standard zone had chairs with comfortable back support, and Royal zone had sofa covered in white cloth.

Already tabla-wala, violin-waala, harmonium-waala, and flute-waala had occupied the stage and were testing their instruments and the microphone. I found my seat, in the middle of 6th and 7th pillar of the whole hall, and noticed no fans only for this zone. It was hot which is exactly opposite to what I had expected. The musicians left the stage without any notice, and I started counting the number of rows. There were totally 51 rows, with 69 chairs in my row. So I did the calculation of the approximate strength of the hall. It is 69*51 = 3519, meaning the hall can accommodate about 3500 people. I also guessed there are 17 rows of 69 chairs in each of normal, standard, royal zones. Adding up totally – 17*51*(600+ 1200+2400) = 36, 41,400 Rs. Impressive..!!

I sat in my chair waited for the show to get start. The Projector in the hall started showing the Titan add in their screen. After five minutes, I got bored hence, went to buy popcorn. After coming back to my seat, I started having it, and it was too spicy. After 10 minutes got up to buy water. The projector continued showing the advertisement of Titan.

I waited for the show to get start. I waited…waited... the projector continuously showed Titan Add. I waited... Waited... Projector looked un tiring... I waited... waited...

Started counting items in the hall just to make myself engaged, in order to time pass.

There were totally 45 pillars over which the audience zone is built in a 9 row of 5 pillars in each. Each pillar is having Fan running with full speed, except my zone and the last zone. Totally 7*4 = 28 fans.

There were totally 50, three leveled chandelier . First level had 6, second 3 and the third had one flower to hold the bulb. Each flower had 6 petals. So the calculation (6+3+1) = 10 flower in each decorative lamp, such fifty lamp making 500 flowers, each having 6 petals making 3000 petals. 500 bulbs each of 100 Watt (I guess) making 50Kwatt power consumption only to decorate the hall..!!!

The projector still continued showing adds of titan, and it continued till 7:35 from 7:05. I checked the duration of Add, and it was 30 seconds. Which means in the past half an hour the add was played for 60 times... That to Non Stop!! Single Add 60 times over half an hour...

The night was turning out to be Boring and mathematical night than Musical...

Finally it was 7:35 (Hour and minute handles are both on 7!!) when MC came and started giving intro of Jagjith Singh. She also introduced His team members to the audience, as they occupied their place…

Finally she called up Jagjith Singh’s name.. And crowd welcomed him with a big round of claps..

“Good evening, namaskar, Assalam Alaikum, Sasriakal”, words came out from Jagjith Singh’s mouth, who wore Black kurtha and paijama. The claps went too high...

Soon he stated singing at around 7:40.. The much awaited moment for Me.!!

"Kuch na kuch to…."

"Voilin kam karo"…
"Kuch na kuch to …"
"Tabla ka sharpness badaao.."
"Kuch na kuch to"

“Aage ka microphone teek karo”

"Kuch na kuch to"

It went on like this... He was saying only "Kuch to" for the first 3
minutes and I guess he repeated around 18 times..!!!!

"Kuch na kuch to zaroor hona hai”
… And then the second Para he sang after a long time,

“saamna aaj unse hona hai."

I was getting tortured more than what Himesh Reshammiya does in his songs.. Also a thought came to my mind is Jagjith the inspiration for Himesh Reshammiya?

It failed to create an impression on me which I had when I listened to his songs earlier. I wanted to listen to "Who kaagaz ki kashti", "Hosh waalaonko", "Koi fariyaad", “Dile naadan tujhe hua kya hai”,”Yun to guzar raha hai”, “Ek purana” ,”Hum toh hai pardes mein”, “Kabhi aanso”, “Raat khamosh hai” Etc Etc , A long list of wonderful ghazals in the way he sang in those albums.. Not with repetitions.

Next to me one family sat. They looked as if they came not to attend the concert but to time pass. Their kid of around 12 years old was irritating by moving here and there from his seat to take the snaps of Jagjith Singh.!! I first of all sincerely followed the rule saying “No cameras”, now this guy is moving only to take the snaps on his camera. It all added up to my frustration.

His violin guys had some problems and he said "Violin off karlo." It looked as if Jagjith Singh and violin guy had some fight..

Anyway after 10 minutes of "kuch to" he sang another one.

I got my interest back when he started singing

"Yeh doulath bhi lelo..
Yeh shohorath bhi lelo..
Bacle cheenlo mujse meri jawwani..
Magar mujko lauta de bachpan ka saawan,
Who kaagaz ki kashti,
Who bearish ki paani.."

My mood was back..!!

After that he sang “Koi Fariyaad”, I got so exited at the beginning, but was mood out after hearing the whole song the way he sang. He was non stopping in repeating.. He repeated some Para for 21 times this time.!!

He sang two more songs to finish off the first half. Totally 7 songs before the interval with "Tukrao ke pyaar karo, mein nahse mein hoon" at the end, with same kind of repetition for more than 10 times.

Anyway got out from my place to get some fresh air. When I came back I noticed the family already left.!! Even I thought of leaving, but something stopped me from leaving..

"Kehte hai na, Jo bhi hota hai achche ke liye hota hai..”

Well Jagjith is about to start his second innings, a good looking girl came and sat next to me. She was in cheetah colored dress, and black jeans. She wore big chain around her neck. She is beautiful with round face. Her voice came out "can I sit there?" I said "Sure”. Though I meant "Please"..

She sat next to my chair, but later shifted to next of that as she made her Jassi jaise friend to sit next on my chair.. She is three chairs away from me. The stage musician started the tune of "Hoshwalonko khabar kya.."

Well the music continued, Jagjith started singing "Tukraao.." which he had already finished earlier by pulling it to more than 10 minutes.. I got confused as the all of audience. Soon he started singing "Hoshwalonko khabakya…". It went well. Loved his way of singing. I was completely hypnotized. Thanked myself for not skipping the plan of leaving.

He continued With other songs like "Jhoom ke jab rindo ne pilaadi" followed by "Dile naadan tujhe hua kya hai?, aakhir is dard ka dava kya hai"..

Loved it. Since all of these songs are my favorite and this time he didn't raped the song. He simply rocked in the second half.. Loved it. Patience has its own value..

He sang another song which I haven't heard of followed by two stunning Punjabi track. Punjaabis on the concert started dancing. Finally its all done by around 10:25 I left the auditorium sensing it's the end of the show.

Well show wasn't got over. When I came out I found even the beauty and jassi also coming out of the auditorium.

Well near to the stage outside, I found there is kind of rush, and my mind sensed something. I went there just to realize Jagjith Singh coming out of the auditorium. He was escorted to his car. ! I felt frustrated since I didn't had a pen or paper to get at least an autograph. I saw him going in the car at a distance of 1 FT.

Finally it’s all over. I was happy since I got to listen to him live. Though in the first half he bored me to the core, second half he simply rocked..!!

I remain,

Muttata

2008-07-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

I travel to office by the company shuttle. Even today as part of my daily routine, I’m standing in the steps of shopping complex and browsing through the morning news paper. The road where the shuttle picks me is a one way. It has a yellow colored direction stone which points to the opposite direction as that of the way, since the flow in that road is changed recently but not the direction of the pointer..

Its wonderful road; which is fully covered by the shadows of the huge trees. One side of the road has this shopping complex; where as the other side has some apartments, Tiffin center and a School. Both sides of the road are paved with uneven sized granites. At some place the stones are placed at 20 degree inclination to the ground, that people walking on it surely feel the ups and down of the unevenness.

Today as usual, I observe lots of kids playing "Muttata" in the road side. Running over the uneven granites so as to avoid being caught by the chaser. They are in school uniform, Boys in Light blue shirt, dark blue chaddi, blue socks and Black shoes. Girls are also in the same color, they wear "Langa and Rakhi". Some guys also wear black jacket over their light blue shirt. The dust of the pavement did polish their shoes and turned them into somewhat red color. They all study in the school opposite to where I stand. The school gate is not yet open. Hence these kids need to wait till watchman comes and opens the School gate. But being best utilizers of time on Games, these kids play game "Muttata".

They run, they shout, they hit others to make them "out", they climb the compound, they jump off from the compound, they run around tree, they argue about cheating, they...
what not.!!!
I observe them playing like this from many days.

Even today, they ran, they jumped, but at one point, one kid under the josh of "making one out" hit the uneven granite. He fallen down over the granite, with a cry out.!!!My eyes moved from reading "deflation(a rare word to hear these days) in the dress of celebrities" on page 7 of Bangalore times to this kid’s cry out.
I forgot to breath for a moment, Lips said "OMG", legs was about to move to other side of the road where the kid had fallen.

1, 2, 3….
His mates, who were running away from him a couple of seconds earlier, were all around him. My heart said “The kid is surely hit hard”.

What’s next?
Kid who had fallen, got up and showed his small wounded hands and elbow to his mates to get some sympathy from them, gave two bumps into his chaddi to remove the dust from it which stuck when he had fallen, gave a kick to stone which made him fall,
And most importantly he is back into the game of Muttata.

If u fall in the Muttata of life, doesn't mean u can’t play anymore. It simply means "give two bumps into your chaddi, kick the stone and move on".

I remain,
J

I and Asif - An Introduction

2008-07-01T22:24:00.000-07:00

Who are you?

Before introducing myself let me introduce Asif to you.
He is a simple guy born in Palimar on Christmas of 1983, the day when the Christian world was busy celebrating birth of Jesus. He currently (as on June 2008) works in one of the MNC for his daily bread.

He is clear hearted, innocent guy that any dumb ass can fool him easily. He is intelligent, hardworking chap, obedient and sincere that all his teachers, lecturers liked him a lot during his study days. When he was in 5th standard, his best loved teacher called him a “Human computer”, because of the speed with which he solved a mathematics problem. So the reason why Mathematics is his darling. He has a great concentration power that when he is indulged in any topic of his interest anything happens around him will never breaks his concentration. He is a good reader who knows how to romance any book. He is full of energy and always will have a dimpled smile on his face, as if he is showing the world how happy he is, which I know many time a false expression put on his face to hide his sadness. He is poor in making friends. But once made, maintains the friend ship with great care. He always listen to his friends till the end without interrupting them, that sometime I feel that he is in dead sleep. He asks sorry for every micro mistake he does and when people does something good to him he make it a point to thank them. He is an introvert person, who keeps his feelings more secure than any FBI documents. Yeah FBI documents can leak sometime, but not his feelings, they are stored with great security.

Of course when u know about such a man it's sure that he wont have enough fun in his life. That's true.

About myself, I'm the Jerk within Asif. I came free with the entry of Asif in this funny world under the scheme "Produce one and get one free" offer.

I’m "svayambhu" – A self born just to make sure Asif will have enough fun in his life. I’m an extrovert, who leaks the highly secured feelings of Asif to his friends. I help Asif to believe "Life is Fun, and is worth making fun of". I’m a good observer, who enjoy being with nature. I'm creative human being who enjoy, acting, commenting on the stuffs which I come across, listening to music and singing in the same way as the singer (For which I normally get a STFU from my roomy, though I ignore his comments and go on), Dancing in the room (when nobody in the room, Because Asif suck at that), Reading novels (just to engage myself in some good activity) and more. My recent interest is traveling and taking snaps of the whole travel. I Enjoy watching movies connected to real life (Which has no bakwas contents.!!). I'm a sportive person and checkout good looking girls which of course makes Asif feel very bad about him since he is really scared of Archies comment "Feeling this product is nice, but we will consider it sold if broken.!!”

I and Asif both like Indian food it's the only thing common in both of us I guess.

I make pranks on his friends, which really makes him "Sorry" for his friends after it's done. Yeah I love him because he gave me a chance to nourish within him.

Why are you Blogging?

If I have to lie, Superstars like Aamir khan, Amithab bacchan, Salman khan are all competing with one another, without giving any importance to content Quality. I just want to show them what the content quality is all about.

If I have to be truthful, I want to help Asif in working towards what he needs to improve.

He is poor observer.
I can prove this by giving one fact about his engineering life. He came to know about most of the affairs, which happened in college days, only after he left the college, that to from one of his close friend. A pathetic observer like him surely needs some help to improve on his observation skills. I want him to feel this universe merely by observing things in this universe. I will hear to his observation and if I feel its good I will post it in this blog. This may also help him in someway in overcoming his inner fear of loosing his memory (which he is worried a lot these days as he forget things too often).

He is improving his English grammar and communication skills.
He is good listener but not a speaker. He does make lots of mistake in grammar perspective too. So helping me writing the blog might help him in improving his Grammar skills, and communication skills. It's just a hope.!!

I change my interests very frequently. These days one of my interests is writing. So writing about Asif’s observation will help me in improving my writing skills.

Considering all these I decided "Ok. Let me start my Blog". so the product www.mohammed-asif.blogspot.com

I Remain,
J