Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Big Brother is coming

Big Brother is coming...


Big brother is the bread winner of the family. He stays in Pardes. He decided to visit his family back home. His folks are all prepared for his visit. They want to make his trip home very special.


The sun has been given a deal to make the day sunny on the eve of big brothers visit.


The hump on the way to home, which normally breaks the back bone of the folks travelling in that way, has given clear order to reduce its elevation by itself. Folks, don’t want the hump to break the backbone of the backbone of the family.


The naked thinking man (to be exact the statue of thinking man), who is sitting in the veranda in thinking pose staring at his Laptop, Who depicts more of life of a software professional hit by recession (Glued to Laptop even if nothing to wear), has been given bath along with his laptop. He complains that it’s only the rainy season where he used to take bath. And he feels terribly bad since being a guy; it’s not nice to take bath at unnecessary intervals.


He is given order that when the big brother comes, he must not move. He must stay in the thinking pose no matter how much he is bored of his job.


There are flower dancers hired for the day. They are given orders to remain always in the bloomed position and not to bend under the luminous day.


The fountain which looks more like a fire extinguisher which runs whenever there is water, placed near to the naked man, has been instructed that it should keep its energy at high level. Also the lights surrounding the fountain which illuminate the fountain in different color at night are given order to illuminate the water in different color under the sunlight. It’s a very big challenge.


The aquarium in the home is neatly cleaned. They polished all the stones in the aquarium, and hence now the black stones look white.

The fishes in the aquarium have been given oil bath.

An orange colored, color aware fish complains, “Hum logonko pakad pakad ke dhoya hai saab. Humari itni buri haalath ki hai ki, mein red color kit hi, ab orange dikh rahi hoon.”


Whenever anyone goes near to the aquarium, normally fishes will come together drooling, expecting they will be fed food. Hence a big sign is put, not to feed the fish. Also the fishes were given order not to drool, and come together whenever someone comes near to the aquarium.

They were also warned not to pishaab in the aquarium till the big brother leaves, so as to keep the aquarium clean of shit and urination of fishes.


Since the big brother lives in pardes, the family is decided to read the newspaper of pardes till big brother is in home.


So there is huge wave of big brother’s visit in the family.


I remain,

The J.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Luck By ______?

Someone said “Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on It.!”

I normally don’t believe in luck, I guess hence sometimes I am luckier.


It was a holiday and we four friend’s (nope. 5 actually including Jerk) plan for a trip to kaup beach in two wheeler. This is around 15 km from my home.


Since the highway has traffic patrolling, and we junkies don’t have enough driving documents we decided to take the alternate root which pass through jungle and seashore for its whole journey.


We reached beach when it was around two more hour to sunset. We went directly to Lighthouse, which was built around 1901. The Lighthouse is around 30 meters high from its base, and has the capability of throwing light upto 29 nautical miles into the sea.


We entered lighthouse buying entrance ticket of 10 rupees, and started climbing the spiral staircase which is built into the wall of the lighthouse.


In the top what I is an amazing view. There is scene of Green trees everywhere, light colored buildings, huge chimneys, Blue River flowing nearby. The scene from this angle is having ups and down everywhere. As the gaze moves 90 degrees, there is another scene - white carpet of sand running for miles, Coconut trees on the shores, waves hitting the shore of the sea and people enjoying their self being hit by waves, boats resting on the sea shores as if they lost job in recent recession. Giving another right angle rotation to the gaze brings nothing but blue water spread for total of 180 degree angle. No Ups and downs. Everything is equal. Above the sea, there is Sun who is finishing his task for the day, and coming down to kiss his darling - the Sea.


There is circular guard made of metal for the protection of the viewer at the top of the lighthouse. I rest on the same by transferring my body weight into it, and start looking at infinity towards the sea. It is so peaceful. Sun is reducing his intimacy gap with the sea.


I get lost in my thoughts, thoughts on how the scenery relates to human life cycle. In life we have all the ups and down in one side as long as there is life which is also colorful, and total peace on the other side which has only one color or colorless. Thought process continues with some more similar analogies.


Suddenly I realize the guard I was resting on is broken, and it’s unable to withstand the weight of my body. I’m on the edge of the 30 meter height lighthouse on the verge of falling, and people walking below the lighthouse are unaware. I can’t find anything for support. I wished, I fall on the sand not on the rocks in which the light house erected, a final wish so that at least my bones won’t be crushed to powder when I fall. But nothing is accepted.


I fall down!


The next moment I stopped that nasty thought process from continuing.


My friends want to get down and go into sea water, as they are bored. We really had no plans of getting into water, neither are we prepared for it. But my nincompoop friends made me one.


We remove our outer wears and keep all our belongings in one place. I double check if my belongings are safe. I check my purse to see my credit card, debit card, and some cash in it.


Like the hungry tiger we get into sea in no time. We enjoy ourselves, in the waves. At the same we kept an eye on our belongings. We swim, float, throw sand- water to each other, drink water by force of sea at unplanned intervals, dip down under the sea to test who holds breath till last, ogle at babes in the shore and water. We just freak out there. I watch the Sun finally kissing his Love – The Sea.


My friends observe that the waves in that place are not great. So we plan to move to other side where there is good height of waves. Two of my friends take the responsibility of shifting our belongings so as to have close watch.


We shift and continue our freaking evening in the touch of sea water. Finally when all are in low voltage, we decide to end the beach episode.


I move out and stand in the shore so as to get dried from the air blowing. And when I feel comfortable, start wearing my outer wear. Once done I check my mobile, and it has got 13 missed calls. Ah!! People think it’s an unlucky number, but it was surely not in my case. At first I thought this could be some bank guy asking whether I need credit card or bank loan, but to be polite I call him back.


Call accepted.

“Who is this? I missed some calls from this number” I ask in Kannada.

“Who is this?” voice from other side.

“My name is Asif”

“Oh. We found a purse named Mohammed Asif lying in the shore. Is that yours?”


I suddenly get a high voltage shock! My hand moves over my back pocket where I had kept my purse before entering into the sea. It was not there!


I say “Yes its mine. Where are you? How did you find it?” and I wanted to ask many more questions.


He says his name is RAVI and he will meet me near light house base to handover my purse.


That’s the moment of happiness, feeling of loosing something and getting it back.


World is not yet gone bad, there are still people like RAVI who practice great quality of humanity in some small actions they do and that gained great respect from me for him.


He handover me the purse, and I notice not even a single item in my purse is touched. I try giving him some prize money for his action but he denies it and says “It’s my duty to do that, and I have done nothing more than that.”


I try convincing him that doing his duty added happiness in my life and hence he must accept my small gift. He denies to accept.


He is happy for me, but he is not ready for any recognition for his duty.


I remain,

the J.